Life's a contract, Life's a business.

Weather :-Damn Hot day
Mood :-Pls God let me pass through this day in peace
Date:- 16 December 2007

Christmas is just around a corner. my week is book full!! just a week before Christmas , i thought that it is going to be a free week but Haiz....... just cannot believe it. Monday till not Friday but Sunday is totally full. Why must i be such a soft-hearted person, i just couldn't say no to anyone. Well this is how God created me but after this year Christmas , i wouldn't be able to help anymore. Next year will be SPM for me. From January till November , i got to prepare and then ........ BOOM!! SPM.... till mid of December. SPM my ticket out of this house forever...... It is not that i hate this house but......... I felt like it is a burden to bear.... a heavy one.

My family can be considered in the category of a dyfuntional family. A very busy father, a think of herself mother, a down sync brother and a "whatever" sister. I'm the youngest of all. My dad is working overboard and with a brother like this , i'm consider the "man of the house". Hahaha.... "Man of the house". That's what my aunts, grandma, grandpa and uncles told me. They also tell me,
"You do know that your dad is working overboard right. You are consider the man of the house, whatever it is, always be there to help out int he family, don't let your mother overwork , take care your brother........." and the saying goes on.

Worst, I'm the only grandson who is in good condition. My uncles are not married and can be considered bachelor for life. All hope is on me. The higher their hope the more heavy the burden weights. Born in a Chinese family is not always good. for instance in my case. the only male grandson who is in a good mind, good condition. I'm the only one who is able to continue to burn the family candle, if you understand.

My character is another matter that i find it hard to change. Because i'm an anti-social, i have 9/10 of distance friends, 1/10 of close friends, and 0/10 best friends. even if i have a best friend, the friendship never last. So far i had two best friends. One was when i'm just 7 years old. He was really the best friend i ever had (funny). He cared for me like an older brother (mind you he is 8 then ). The first time i ever felt like i have a brother. When someone bullied me in the bus, he was there. He even as far as to end up in wounds just protecting me. I remembered once, when we were playing hide & seek, it started to rain heavily. I ran back home hoping not to get wet and accidental fell on the tar road. A 1 cm stone entered into my skin and to the flesh on my knees. I was holding back my tears while trying to get back up. When he saw it, he hurried to my side, enduring the rain , held me up , took off his shirt , put it over me and slowly assisted me home while he endure the raindrops................. what a friend , my best friend. He is even willing to beg his father into letting him go to my church family day when he knew that we are out of runners. In the end , our team got second, He got first in every running events........my best buddy, my best friend, my brother. but things never turn out well, in the end because of my ferocious temper, we end our friendship in a cold war style. I still regretted to this day. I can still remember it happen when i was 10. Three years of friendship ended just like that, even when my neighbours friends tried to mend our friendship , it turns out sour.
Another of my best friend was when i was 12, he was younger than me. I took him as my younger brother, treated him like i was the older brother. We spend time together often, and very soon i forgotten about the pain of my first friendship. but it lasted for three years also, when his family are going to another church, from there we never communicated again. I was always afraid of meeting new friends also making best friends beause i was afraid of what they see in me also my family. Also i was afraid that it will turn out to be like my first bestfriend relationship. from there my friendship is always base on business, nothing more than that unless in special cases.

Hahahaha, I'm only 16, and i already know how to profit from friendship. I tend to find out that with good connection, you will be able to go places you could only dream off. I also found out that to get this kind of good connection, you got to wear all kinds of masks to get them. Maybe because i'm the "Man of the house" My mind seems to mature faster, because you got to think alot, think ahead, plan ahead, act ahead of others. There is where i find that life is just like a business. If you don't get good connection, you don't get good grades, you don't think ahead of others, you will always "RUGI". all things comes with a consequence, the only thing is it a good one ? or a bad one? doesn't life seems like a business.

Right now i also find that my life is nothing also but a contract bound to this family. A everlasting contract that can never be broken. Hey, what am i thinking , i can just rebel, ya, fight for my freedom, fight for my life.
Hahahahaaa...aa...aaaa....aaa...aa....a......
Just that the funny thing is i'm a conservative person also a christian who is trying to live a rightous life. How can i rebel?

You may think my life is cause by myself, only by my own thinking. But guess what, with a family like mine, in the same scenario like mine, with the same natural character like mine, you will slowly find yourself starting to think like me.