The Power of a Thought.

Weather :- Damn nice for a picnic
Mood :- Christmas time, hey where is my present!!
Date :- 25 December 2007

Hey i know what you all are thinking,
"today is 30 of December, how can he put 25??!!"
Well, the truth is that i created this post on 25th of i couldn't find the time put it on my blog, so got to drag till today. hehehe. You know busy week busy days, where can i find time....

well this is now my day was, 25th of December, time to be merry, time for a break. well, i finally was able to put all of my work down for just today. Got to anyway, who wants to work on Christmas. It is time for feasting also. Talking about feasting, I'm having a gathering for specific family members only. this round no turkey but lok-lok and steamboat.... hahahaha.....wuahahaha........ -_-" sorry couldn't contain myself. anyway.
In conjunction, my dad is finally home for Christmas, well, he is working overboard, and he is here today, so cool. Finally i got to meet my dad four times this year, what a good wish to be answered. Well, it went smoothly today, my dad not home, going somewhere, which i hope is not to the other's home. me , my mum and sis and bro are at home preparing all the stuff , well actually my sis and mum all the way through with the food while i deal with the technical stuff. my bro..... tv...... I know ..... sad case.
By 6 everything was done. My dad came home in time... and here is where everything goes a bit out of proportion.

Three days before Christmas, my dad call , asking what i want. Well being the boy , i will usually go for the tech stuff, but after so many thoughts, i stick to the unusual.......... can't guess.........come on try harder........ it is money for my school books and a pair of new school shoes....... you guys out there will be scolding me for being stupid but hey........ i got to be a good boy and the sacrifice one as my sis has just got my dad to buy her a perfume.... which by the way it STINKS!! i threw my list of things i want and stick to the school's stuff, of course not being that stupid, ask for 100 bucks for raining days........ which happens everyday.

back to the present,....... My dad told me he gave me 100 yesterday.... which was true...... and he said this " yesterday, i gave you 100 and shoes, today here is the 300 for the school books, so now i don't ow you anything."............ OW?? Where is the world does this word ow ever occurred in a father son relationship....... It stroke me when i heard the word "ow". my mind keep playing this word over and over again. It even land me in a sudden depression thought saying, "my dad was not sincere in giving me a gift, it is like i forced him to give me." Hey..... he ask, i answered, how can he say like he ow me........ when did you ever hear people say you ow him during Christmas and also giving present. All of this came from the heart.......How can he say that.....

Well, i got to face fact suddenly, he maybe don't really love me like i thought he was. My sis was his fav anyway, it will never be my turn, why i don't just distance myself from him since he will never love me. But....
thank God, i have a very understanding, rational aunt. She was the one who brought our family through all those hard time, nothing to do with financial (my family are quite ok with it) anyway. I told her this, and she reply " You do know your dad is a person who speaks like this right. I remembered once, when i ask him about my mum, your grandma cancer, asking for his opinion, he immediately answer me, 'that's is her problem why ask me' i was very furious but i remembered that he is like this, hard mouth soft heart. "
Immediately a revelation came, Oh ya, my dad is like that. He did say those words about grandma but in the end he bought a ticket twice to see my grandma after her chemotherapy.

I finally know the power of just a thought. It can cause you to misunderstand even your own dad. Thank God for those people HE send to us during those time. My thought nearly cause me to hate my dad and even distance our relationship. This was proven when the next day my dad brought us out for dinner, he started to tell us his experience in the world and what he hope for us
"I don't hope you guys for straight A's, but I only hope that you will do your best and that is enough for me"
See my dad do care for me, even when he know i have the ability to score, he didn't put pressure on me instead advice me to just use my time wisely and to always care for my mum and bro. Then he told us the story of my bro sickness and how my parents went through it. It kind of lighten me of my narrow thoughts.

If i just follow my thoughts and make that move, i could have really distance my relationship with my dad, which of course is a bad thing and this prove it's power to influence a person's mind.
A thought can help but also it can kill you.